Dreaming of the Future
by cncgrad02
Summary: A dream is a wish your heart makes... or is it?  Another SPECULATION from the mind of a crazily obsessed fan.
1. Oscar Night

_**A great big shout out to Mel and Anna. You ladies rock! Smooches to ya'! **_

_**First and foremost, I don't own anything. Secondly, let it be known that this has been written for about two weeks now. I've just been sitting on it and I have no good reason. It was inspired first of all by the pictures from Oscar night, but- more importantly- also from a dream a friend of mine had back in like September. There were only 3 words that she told me when she replayed the dream to me. I know nothing about the dream itself, except for those 3 words. We pushed it aside for the time being... until Oscar night. Some pictures were released all over the net and we put them and those 3 words together and voila. Here's the result.**_

_**Again, this story is only SPECULATION, so don't throw tomatoes at me. We have no way of knowing... unless someone out there is their best friend and really knows the truth and has been holding out on us... **_

The two best friends and former co-stars were settling into the backseat of the car that would transport them to the center where the Oscar Viewing Party benefiting the AIDS Foundation was being held. They interrupted their excited conversation as they heard the driver's door slam shut and the privacy window slide down and watched as the driver turned over his shoulder to face the two young actresses.

"You two better behave tonight," the driver told them. He knew they hadn't seen each other since December and were always fairly reserved, but he couldn't resist the easy teasing, especially the brunette that he had gotten to know pretty well since he had become the favorite driver of her and her long time boyfriend. He was shocked when he first heard the news of their breakup but had also had the chance to speak to both of them separately and knew that it wasn't as big or as terrible as the media made it out to be. "Don't make me call up Mr. E and find out if he wants me to follow you around all night long," he playfully threatened.

"Oh!" Vanessa waved her hand in a circular motion, silently telling him to turn back around. "You just get us to the party and you can lecture us later, okay, Charles?" Her order was met by giggles from her friend sitting beside her. "Don't you dare laugh at him," she instructed with a point in her friend's direction. "It only eggs him on! He's just like Zac- he thrives on the attention."

Ashley watched as the driver grinned and gave a wink in their direction before turning to face forward once more after raising the privacy shield. She waited until she felt the car start to pull from the curb and then turned her attention to see Vanessa as she started fidgeting, dropping her house key into her silver clutch. The two girls knew each other well enough that Ashley was able to read Vanessa inside and out and knew that her mind was elsewhere. Ashley took a deep breath and cleared her throat, preparing herself for the onslaught that she knew would potentially result from her line of questioning.

"Have you talked to him in the past few days?" she asked softly.

"Who?" Vanessa asked, feigning ignorance. She fully knew who Ashley was talking about, but wasn't going to allow her mind to wander in that direction tonight. This was a night for her to relax and have a good time before focusing on all of her promotional duties that were glaring her in the face.

"Ness, you know who I'm talking about." Ashley's forceful tone caused Vanessa to bring her attention back in her direction.

"I talked to him yesterday," Vanessa told her.

"What did he say about tonight?"

"What about it?" Vanessa's attention was diverted momentarily as she pulled her compact mirror and lip gloss from her clutch. Ashley knew Vanessa's actions were a diversionary tactic and was mentally telling her to change the subject, but Ashley wasn't going to take the bait, so she forged ahead.

Ashley released the pent up sigh of frustration. "Vanessa-" Ashley paused and waited until she knew for certain Vanessa's attention was on her once again- "you're going to this party with another guy. A much younger guy, might I add-"

"I'm not going to the party with Josh. I'm going with you. And even if I were, so what?" Vanessa said as she carefully applied the lip gloss to her lips.

"Details…" Ashley said with a roll of her eyes. "And 'so what', you say? You should be asking yourself 'so what would Zac say'?"

"Zac would be saying 'have fun'," Vanessa snapped as she gave a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders as she closed her compact shut and put it and the lip gloss back in the clutch.

Ashley mulled this over in her mind before continuing. "Well, then, I'm going to say that I hope you have fun tonight. You deserve it. But just promise me something."

"What's that?"

"Be careful tonight."

"I'm sorry?" Vanessa raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Be careful of what?"

"Josh?" Ashley told her matter of fact. When it became clear that the light bulb still wasn't going off for her best friend, Ashley clarified. "Nessa, he's younger. Much younger. It's obvious he's so smitten with you! You have worked your magic on the poor boy and are completely clueless to it. I say be careful tonight because you may not realize it, but you are leading him on."

"It's nothing, Ash. We're just friends. Now, change of subject. Let's talk about the show. How's it going?"

Ashley quickly realized that Vanessa was avoiding talking about the topic of her new friend and what he wanted to be in her life. She made it her night's mission to make sure she had answers before they left the party. Ashley had talked to Zac just that afternoon- unbeknownst to Vanessa- and he had asked and she had promised to look out for Vanessa for as long as she physically could. Once Vanessa got to New York Tuesday evening, he would very happily take over the job of looking out for her. No matter their status, he would always care about what happened to Vanessa.

Ashley was intent to do her part to make certain that their status would become solidified in the positive column of the gossip rags once more.

Ashley allowed her mind to wander as the car pulled up and stopped next to the curb of their destination. The two young women could see the flashbulbs from the other side of the window and mentally prepared themselves for the attention which was to come. As Charles came around and opened the door for them, reaching a hand in and helping both to emerge from the car, their red carpet smiles instantly shown brightly.

After posing for pictures and Vanessa even pausing to chat with Michael Yo where he was stationed for the E! Network interviews, the two actresses made their way inside. As they approached the bar and placed their orders for two glasses of wine and walked to the buffet to fix their plates, they soon found an empty table and sat down. Both knew that in order to have fun tonight, their energy needed to be up.

Within moments of their plates being cleared away, a commotion near the door caught their attention. They both looked in the direction of the noise and noticed a few people entering. They hit a pause in their conversation when one person in particular became visible as the small crowd dispersed and went their separate directions.

"There he is," Ashley said.

"Ashley, friends, okay?" Vanessa reminded her in a somewhat annoyed tone.

"Nothing more?"

"Nothing more."

"We'll see," Ashley said as she stood from her seat, grabbed her glass of Chardonnay, and carried it with her to greet another fellow actor.

"What does that mean?" Vanessa called after her. Ashley turned and cocked her eyebrow in a knowing fashion over her shoulder as she took a sip of her drink. She noticed when someone approach Vanessa from behind.

"You tell me…" Ashley told her as she turned back around and walked off. It was at that moment that Vanessa felt a presence behind her and turned in her seat.

"Josh, you made it!" Ashley heard her say. She turned and glanced back just in time to see Vanessa stand and give a brief hug to her co-star.

_It's going to be a long night, _Ashley thought to herself with a roll of her eyes.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

As the night went on, Ashley noticed something that concerned her somewhat. When Vanessa walked to the buffet table, Josh was right beside her. When she approached the bar to refresh her drink, Josh went, too. When Vanessa was sitting in her chair, Josh was practically in her lap. Ashley thought back to Vanessa's words from the ride over earlier in the evening:

"_Zac would be saying 'have fun'… It's nothing, Ash. We're just friends…" _

Ashley quickly realized two things: 1) that Vanessa was indeed having fun, just as she knew Zac would tell her to do if the two of them had spoken and 2) Vanessa did indeed only view Josh as a friend. In watching the two of them interact, Josh was the loyal puppy dog who never wanted to leave his owner's side. It was almost pathetic in Ashley's opinion.

She watched as Vanessa's eyes lit up when the next song came through the speakers and watched as her brown eyes scanned the room searching for Ashley. When their eyes met, Ashley grinned and Vanessa signaled for her to come back in her direction. Ashley picked up her glass and carried it with her as she approached Vanessa's side and the two friends began their carefree dancing. Vanessa's eyes briefly lost their twinkle and her smile faltered just the slightest bit- but she quickly recovered- when she spotted Josh from the corner of her eye standing just feet from her.

When the song ended, Vanessa sat down at the table to catch her breath and sipped from her water.

"Can I get you another drink?"

She glanced over her shoulder and saw Josh standing there, smiling down at her gesturing to her almost empty wine glass. She smiled back and nodded.

"That would be great, thank you. A Cabernet." She watched as Josh walked off in the direction of the bar and turned back around in her seat, taking a deep breath and picking up her glass, taking the last several sips of her current Cabernet in one gulp.

_Okay, Zachary, if there ever was a night I needed you at least in the same room…_ she thought, as she began to think back to her conversation with Ashley during the limo ride to the event. One part of what her friend said kept playing itself over and over in her mind.

_It's obvious he's so smitten with you! You have worked your magic on the poor boy and are completely clueless to it._

Vanessa looked back over her shoulder and noticed Josh conversing with the bartender. She turned back in her seat to reach for her water once more as Ashley moved to stand next to him at the bar. Josh noticed the oldest of the three out of the corner of his eye and turned back around so he could face Vanessa's direction again. He wasn't sure what was happening to him, but he found that he didn't like being where he couldn't see her.

Ashley watched as the younger actor eyed Vanessa from across the room as she set her water back down on the table. As the bartender informed Josh that his drinks were ready, he reached for his own Coke and started to take a sip as Ashley's voice reached his ears.

"Don't do it, Hutcherson."

"Don't do what? What are you talking about?"

"Don't pine for her," Ashley told him. Josh turned to look at her and raised his eyebrows.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Well, first of all, she's legal, you're not. That's her glass of red wine and there's not anything in that Coke you're holding. Do you not see anything off just a little bit here?" she asked, pointedly.

Josh nodded his head as Ashley made her argument. "Point one made. And point number two would be?"

"Point number two would be in New York City right now."

"New York City, huh?" Josh asked. "So that means that point number two isn't really a point right now, is he?"

"Like hell he's not," Ashley countered.

"What is it that he's been quoted as saying: '…what she doesn't know won't hurt her'? Well, guess what? That goes both ways." Josh smirked in a cocky manner, causing Ashley to move so she could stand in front of him, fully blocking his view of Vanessa. She wasted no time channeling her inner Sharpay, hoping the attitude would be conveyed the way she knew it needed to be for her point to be made.

"I'm just saying...don't go there. He's got this sixth or seventh or eighth or ninth sense that is solely focused on her. Your hands touch the wrong part of her and the next thing you know-" she paused to snap her fingers for effect- "BAM! he's on your doorstep flexing those sexy muscles of his and dragging his girl back to his place."

"Except that she's not his anymore." Josh smirked again as he brought his Coke to his lips and took another sip.

"Okay, first of all, are you trying to make a point by taking a sip of _Coke_? And not just good Coke, straight Coke! Seriously? Josh, c'mon. I can see right through that move. I mastered that move, except with White Zin. And second, they're just telling each other that they're not 'theirs'-" she used her fingers to make air quotes- "but everyone knows how false that is, even if the two of them don't. Now listen to me and listen to me good. I like you, Josh. You're a fun kid to be around. You've got a great sense of humor and make any situation fun. You'll make any girl lucky. But that's all you are to Vanessa: a _kid_ friend. Just take my advice and remember that she's vulnerable right now- even if she won't admit it- and tread lightly."

"Thanks, Ashley. I'll take all that into consideration. But I want you to remember something, too. I just spent three months with her on the beach nearly every day. Has lover boy done that? I think I've got more of a chance with her right now than you want to believe. You go ahead and drink your wine, she'll drink hers, and I'll keep my Coke here. We'll all have fun the rest of the night dancing and partying and we'll see who takes her home."

Ashley narrowed her eyes at him and watched as he turned and picked up the glass of Cabernet and walked in the direction of the table where the object of his obsession currently was standing next to her chair chatting with another attendee of the party. She too picked up her fresh glass of White Zinfandel and walked back in the direction of the table where her best friend was. She had no idea how the rest of the night would end up, but she was determined to make sure that she was nearby to not let things get out of hand with a certain young actor.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

An hour later found the two young women where two or more females can be found at the same time… in the bathroom. Vanessa emerged from the stall and found Ashley already standing in front of the mirror, examining her lip gloss.

"Man, I am having so much fun tonight. I've needed this," Vanessa said, as she used her hand to fluff her curls.

"You look like you're having fun," Ashley responded. She looked at Vanessa's reflection in the mirror to see her reaction. "But if Zac were here, I think you'd be having even more fun."

"Well, yeah, possibly. I mean, Zac and I always have fun-" she stopped when she realized what she said. She looked down at her hands which rested on the edge of the counter and corrected herself. "-_had _fun whenever we would go out."

"You miss going to events with him, don't you?" Ashley quietly questioned.

"Yeah," Vanessa admitted softly. She gave a short frustrated laugh and shook her head before turning to face Ashley. "What am I doing, Ash?" Her voice took on a forlorn tone and Ashley's heart instantly went out to her. She reached out and took Vanessa's hands in both of her own.

"Look, Sweetie, I want nothing more than for you to be happy. As much as it hurts my heart to say this, if Zac isn't it for you but someone else out there is, then I hope you find that someone and I'll do anything I can to help you find him. I do have to say this, however." Vanessa lifted her eyes to look at Ashley. "That boy out there is even more into you than we originally thought he was. Now you say that you're just friends. If that's the case, then you'd better let him know because he is so far gone, I don't think he will ever find his way home."

"What are you saying, Ash?"

"I'm saying that if you want to start something with Josh, then I'll be happy for you and will be in your corner cheering for you the whole time. But I don't think you want this as bad as he does. I was talking to him a little bit ago and girl, that boy is intense! He's got it bad!"

"Ashley, I love you and thank you for being so concerned. I hear everything you're saying. But you don't have anything to worry about. Josh is just a friend and if he were to try anything, I've got just a little bit more experience than he does. I think I can handle him."

"Just be careful. I don't want to see you hurt again."

"Ashley, friends. Okay?"

Ashley threw her hands up in surrender. "Okay," she said. "Don't say I didn't try."

The girls walked out together and- not to Ashley's surprise- spotted Josh standing right outside the door. He approached Vanessa and placed his hand on the small of her back.

"I was wondering where you disappeared to," he told her.

"Well, look, you found us!" Ashley said with forced cheerfulness. She gave Vanessa a knowing look before walking off. "I'm going to see what desserts are still out there. My trainer is going to love me tomorrow and I'm going to hate him sooooo much!" Vanessa heard Ashley say as she walked down the hallway and back to the open banquet room. She turned her focus back to Josh.

"What do you say we go check out the dessert table, too?" she suggested and allowed Josh to guide her back into the banquet room in the direction Ashley had just disappeared.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

It wasn't much longer before the three decided they were ready to call it a night. The plans had been made a few days prior that while Josh had to be at the awards show itself in support of his movie _The Kids Are Alright-_ which was up for several awards-, Ashley and Vanessa would ride to the party on their own but Josh would share their limo that evening on the way home. He lived in the next neighborhood over from Vanessa and in everyone's mind, it only made sense.

As the three of them prepared to gather their belongings, Vanessa sent a quick text to Charles to let him know that they were ready and to find out where he was. When she received her response, the trio made their way to the meeting place. Charles opened the back door and held his hand out to help Ashley climb in the spacious back seat and reached out to help Vanessa, only to feel a hand on his arm. He turned to look at the person who owned said hand.

"You go ahead, I've got it. Thanks."

Charles stood there with an almost-pout on his face before dropping his hand back by his side. He tried to hide his eye roll as he turned away, but was quickly stopped by Vanessa when she noticed the look on his face.

"Charles, is everything okay?" she asked, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. Her voice was laced with concern.

"Everything's fine, Miss Hudgens," he said, as he looked Josh up and down. "Nothing for you to worry about at all." He sulked like a five year old child as he watched Vanessa place her hand in Josh's offered one and allowed him to help her in the car. Knowing he was about to be entirely inappropriate, he bit his tongue to keep his sarcastic remark to himself and shut the door behind Josh as he climbed in. He walked back to the driver's side and climbed in behind the steering wheel. When Vanessa heard his door close, she took the lead and addressed him.

"Okay, Charles. We're all good back here." She kept looking over the barrier into the front seat, expecting the routine line of questioning to begin about how the evening went and did they all have fun, but the questions never came. Instead, she was shocked and somewhat dismayed to see him reach up and push the button to raise the privacy shield. Vanessa shook the confusion from her mind and turned back to face her friends as Charles proceeded to pull the car out into the traffic and began the drive to Ashley's house first.

They arrived too quickly for Ashley's liking, too quickly for Vanessa's as well- or was it too quick? The jury was still out on that as far as she was concerned-, and not quick enough in Josh's opinion. He couldn't wait to be alone in the back seat of a limo with his co-star.

After Ashley and Vanessa shared hugs and she bid good-bye to Josh, Ashley climbed out through the car door that was being held open by Charles. Ashley paused to give their favorite chauffeur a brief 'thank you' hug and was slightly surprised when he barely smiled at her in return. She couldn't help but notice when he didn't even look in the back seat as he usually would. Charles closed the door and Ashley slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder forcing him to turn his focus in her direction.

"Charles? I know what you're thinking and I think I know what you're feeling. I'm gonna call Zac. I know Vanessa will tell him, but I'm gonna call him so that whatever twist she's bound to put on the story will be cleared up. Just don't give up on them, okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Charles said softly.

"Uh-uh... My name's Ashley. Miss Tisdale at the most," she told him, flashing him a dazzling smile. She waited until she saw Charles nod and start to head back around to the driver's side of the black car.

"Oh, and Charles?" she said, pausing on the sidewalk and turning back to face him.

"Yes Ma...I mean Miss Tisdale?" he asked. She gave him a Cheshire cat grin and he nervously returned her smile.

"You know more about Zac and Vanessa than you're letting on don't you? You've got dirt on them...limo rides and such. I need to take a long ride around L.A. with you sometime!"

Their grins widened as they watched each other .

"Call me anytime, Miss Tisdale. I'll gladly make time for you!"

"Do you make runs to Vancouver?" she asked jokingly. The two laughed at their private joke and Ashley bid Charles a final good bye before turning and walking the rest of the way to her front door… with the sounds of Vanessa's giggles making their way to her ears.

"Josh, stop! Don't you dare tickle me!"

As she closed the door to her home behind her, she pulled her cell phone from its hiding place in her clutch and found the familiar number in her contact list and hit send, sending up silent prayers that the person on the other end would answer. She released a sigh of relief when he finally answered.

"Thank God you answered. Zac, we need to talk and you'd better be awake to hear what I have to say."

"_This sounds important, Tisdale. You've got my attention. What's up?"_

Back in the sophisticated car, when Josh felt movement once more, he glanced out the window to confirm that they were in fact moving again.

"I'll let our driver know to head to your place next," he told her as he turned to face the privacy shield and brought his hand up to knock. Vanessa's voice caused him to pause mid-knock.

"Our driver's name is Charles and he knows where he's going," she snapped. "Believe me he knows," she continued under her breath as she allowed her mind to wander back to a time when she actually enjoyed the company she rode with in the back of a limo and didn't have to feel like she was analyzing every move he made or word he spoke.

Her stern response brought Josh's focus back on her and he lowered his hand as he leaned back in the seat. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize..."

Vanessa finally found the courage to bring up one of the many questions that had been running through her mind all night.

"Josh, what happened to the co-star I had in Hawaii?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"Well, he was laid back and easy going. You seem like… I don't know. You're just not the same person you were in Hawaii."

It finally dawned on Josh just what Vanessa was getting at.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just… I like you, Vanessa, and I guess I'm just trying to impress you."

The two shared a look that spoke volumes. Vanessa broke the stare first and turned her attention to look out the window. A few minutes of silence later, Josh slid across the leather seat so he was sitting closer to her. Vanessa didn't notice how close he was sitting until she felt his hand on her knee and she jumped slightly at the unexpected contact. She just looked down at his hand resting on her bare knee and realized how great it made her feel to be on the receiving end of a male's attention again and allowed herself to relax.

The rest of the ride was spent with Josh's flirting- trying to win Vanessa over- and her silently trying to play "What are you thinking?" with her brain and- more importantly- her heart. By the time they reached her house, she found herself trying to put distance between herself and Josh.

_I need to be alone. Maybe that'll help me with all of this._

Charles was holding the back door open for her and was waiting patiently, pretending to not listen to the conversation that reached his ears.

"Josh, you don't have to walk me to the door. Surely you're tired; I have way too many steps even for me sometimes! Stay here and just watch. I'll be fine. I'll even flash the porch light when I get in."

Josh, however, would have none of this as he insisted on walking Vanessa to her door.

"No, Vanessa. A lady shouldn't have to walk herself to the front door. I don't mind, really." He started to climb out of the car and as his feet hit the sidewalk, he stood and faced Charles. "You wouldn't mind waiting, would you? I won't be but just a moment."

Charles allowed a slight scowl to cross his features as he watched Josh place his hand on the small of Vanessa's back and started to lead her toward the massive stone steps. Vanessa paused slightly to look over her shoulder and noticed the forlorn look on Charles' face.

"Hang on a second," she told Josh before taking the few steps back in the direction of the older gentleman. She put her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. "Don't worry. We'll be fine," she told him softly. She pulled back and the two shared a look.

"I know you will be," he responded. They broke the hug and Charles gave her a knowing wink. "It's just a matter of time before _he _realizes it, too."

"Hahaha!" Vanessa allowed a sarcastic chuckle escape her lips. "Yeah! Don't hold your breath on that one!"

"Miss Hudgens, he'll come around."

"Charles, you sound like you've been talking to Zac. Is there something you're not telling me?"

Charles gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Have a good night, Mrs. E," he said as he wiggled his eyebrows, using his old nickname for her which brought a smile to her face and caused his heart to soar at the familiar sight. "We'll be in touch."

"Good night, Charles," she told him as she turned and walked back to where Josh was waiting patiently. He laid his hand on the small of her back and began to lead her up the sidewalk again.

They climbed the steps that led up to Vanessa's front door and Vanessa began to fish around in her clutch for her door key and went to unlock the door. When she had it open, she turned to face Josh once more.

"Josh, thank you for tonight. I had a really great time. I'm glad you were able to come."

"I had a great time, too. Maybe we can do it again?" he asked hopefully.

"Um, perhaps. I uh, I leave for New York tomorrow, so I'll be gone for a few days, but we'll see. Maybe when I get back?"

"Definitely. I look forward to it."

Josh finally decided he was tired of being chivalrous and let his eighteen year old hormones overtake him as he took matters into his own hands. He gently placed a hand on Vanessa's waist as he leaned in and placed his lips against hers, taking her- and Charles- by surprise.

This kiss lasted only a few seconds, but that was just long enough for Vanessa's heart to pound wildly in her chest. She pulled back and gave a small smile.

"Good night, Josh. We'll be in touch."

"Good night, Vanessa."

As she crossed the threshold to her house, she closed the door and on either side, different emotions were playing out.

Josh let a satisfied smile spread across his face as he silently congratulated himself for taking a step and descended the front steps of Vanessa's house, making his way back to the car.

"Thanks for waiting. I'm all set," he told Charles, not noticing the daggers that were being sent in his direction.

"I'm sure you are," Charles mumbled under his breath. He slammed the car door and made his way back to the other side and climbed in- after giving another glance to the large door several yards away from him that one of his favorite passengers just disappeared through.

_Here's hoping that Miss Tisdale can talk some sense into him,_ he thought with a shake of his head, knowing that he should expect a call from the man in New York City at any time.

_What should I say to him? Do I tell him about the kiss? How did things get so complex for the two of them? _All these thoughts ran through his mind as he focused on the road and getting the young man in the backseat home.

On the other side, inside the warmth of her house with Shadow licking at her toes, Vanessa leaned against the door and brought her fingers up to her lips.

_What just happened?_ she thought to herself. _Am I really ready for this? And am I ready for it with Josh?_

She allowed a tired sigh to escape her lips and looked down at the black puppy who had tired of the toes on her right foot and moved to her left. She gave a small smile at the familiarity of the action. It was one that Shadow did every night when she got home from an event. When she completed her task on the left foot, she sat back on her hind feet and looked expectantly up at Vanessa. Vanessa knew the question that would be asked if Shadow were human and could indeed speak.

"_I always lick his toes when I'm done with yours. Where is he?"_

Vanessa read her puppy's mind and leaned down to pick her up, holding her close to her body.

"You know he's not here, Shadow. I know you miss him. I do, too, girl."

Shadow showed her understanding by licking Vanessa's chin, causing her to smile sadly.

"What do you say we go to bed, huh? I'm pretty beat. How 'bout you?" Another chin lick. "Yeah? Alright then, let's go. Mommy has to get up pretty early tomorrow to pack."

Owner and pup made their way upstairs, while said pup got comfortable in her own bed in the corner of the room and said owner got comfortable in cotton yoga pants and a tee shirt and washed her face and brushed her teeth. Once Vanessa set her alarm, she climbed under the sheets and reached for Zac's old pillow and wrapped it tight in her arms- an old habit that she still couldn't break- and tried to fight it as her mind traveled to New York City and the whereabouts of a certain blue eyed man who still haunted her dreams every night, no matter how hard she tried to fight it.


	2. NYC

**_To all of you who threw tomatoes at me, I thank you! I just want to reiterate that I do not think this is really how it all played out. It's called FICTION! God blessed us with imaginations for a reason and I intend to use mine how ever I wish. So with that being said, I say "God bless" to all my readers out there and a great big "Bless your hearts" to those who use the review button at the bottom to try and trash someone's emotions. Guess what? It didn't work! And just to prove my point, here's chapter 2. Lots of love from South Carolina! Happy reading!_**

It was the blinding sunlight that awoke Vanessa on Monday morning. The first thing she did was open one eye and took a small glance at the alarm clock sitting across the room on the dresser. Taking note of the fact that she still had another half hour before the alarm would sound through out her bedroom, she sank further back under the covers and pulled the pillow that she held against her body tighter still, closing her eyes once more and trying to will her body to sleep for the remaining thirty minutes, forty five if she played the 'snooze' card as she usually did. It was a game at which she was a pro, but yet one that used to annoy Zac to no end. _'Why don't you just set the alarm for the time you want to get up, so you don't have to hit snooze so much?' _he would often ask was for that reason that Vanessa conquered it even more in the time since their breakup.

It was times like this when her heart hurt the most. Knowing that it was on the days like this when there was nothing too pressing on the itinerary and she could use these quiet moments before fully waking up laying in bed and snuggled in his arms, the two of them just enjoying being lazy together, made the fact that he wasn't there holding her that much more painful.

Vanessa was pulled from her thoughts by the wet nose that was rubbing against her arm and then the tongue that was licking her hand. She let out a yawn as she looked into the face of Shadow and reached out to scratch her between her ears.

"How did you get up here? Hmmm? Daddy's usually the one who got out of bed to bring you up here, but I know he didn't get you this time," she said, trying to hide the bitterness in her voice.

She watched as Shadow paused in her licking and tilted her head to one side as if she understood what Vanessa was telling her. Then, as if she was speaking, the small black dog let out a slight yip.

"Wait, I came and got you, didn't I?" Vanessa asked as she struggled to hide another yawn. "I remember now. I was having trouble sleeping and came to get you so I could snuggle up with you, hoping you'd help me sleep." She paused and watched as Shadow put her head back down and started licking her arm again. "I still didn't sleep, you know," she continued. "It's all your fault. You're fired." She continued stroking Shadow's fur as the small animal made herself comfortable by stretching out on the bed next to her owner. Shadow gave Vanessa's hand one more lick and laid her own head down on the mattress and Vanessa watched her for a few minutes as Shadow made herself comfortable. Then the dog gave one more tired sigh and her breathing became steady.

"If only it was that easy," she said to herself. "I've been trying to just close my eyes and hope for the best all night long. It worked for a little bit, but after that insane dream, I just couldn't make it work anymore."

Vanessa allowed the one sided conversation to die and let her mind wander back to sometime during the night, a time when a dream that she had had woken her up and really made her think about it and try to figure out what it meant.

"_Josh, thank you for tonight. I had a really great time. I'm glad you were able to come."_

"_I had a great time, too. Maybe we can do it again?" he asked hopefully._

"_Um, perhaps. I uh, I leave for New York tomorrow, so I'll be gone for a few days, but we'll see. Maybe when I get back?"_

"_Definitely. I look forward to it."_

_Josh finally decided he was tired of being chivalrous and let his eighteen year old hormones overtake him as he took matters into his own hands. He gently placed a hand on Vanessa's waist as he leaned in and placed his lips against hers, taking her by surprise. Vanessa placed a hand on his chest to gently push him back, but Josh misinterpreted her actions and pressed his lips further onto hers. He brought his other hand up to rest on the back of her head- an action that reminded her of something Zac would do when they used to kiss- and tried to deepen it._

_It was that one simple action on Josh's part that caused her to pull away and slightly panic._

'_What am I doing?' she thought to herself. 'This is crazy!'_

_Their eyes met and locked for the briefest of moments before Vanessa broke the stare and pulled away from his embrace. _

"_Josh, we can't- __**I **__can't-" she began, before getting cut off by him._

"_Vanessa, I like you. I've liked you for several months now- since we first got to Hawaii. I never did say or do anything because I knew Zac was an issue, but he's not now, so I just thought-"_

"_Josh, Zac is still an issue."_

"_But he's been seen out almost every night-"_

"_Josh, that's something Zac and I are trying to work though. It's not fair for me to try and attempt to start a relationship when he and I are trying to work through stuff."_

"_I understand. But know that I'll be here, ready whenever you are."_

"_Good night, Josh. We'll be in touch." _

"_Good night, Vanessa." _

_She opened the door to her big, empty house and walked inside, shutting the door behind her and locking it._

Vanessa was in a deep sleep when the dream occurred. The moment the lock twisted and clicked in place in her dream, her eyes snapped wide open.

'_What the hell?' _she thought to herself.

She sat up in bed enough to look at the clock and noticed the bright blue numbers that read 2:48 staring back at her and she fell back against the pillows and sighed.

_Only two and a half hours of sleep, _she thought to herself. _Thank goodness I'm flying today. I can sleep on the plane._

The rest of the night was shot for Vanessa. She knew trying to get back to sleep would be difficult, so she climbed out of bed and crossed to the corner of her room and scooped Shadow up in her arms and carried her back to the Queen size bed, hoping that having the dog next to her would help. That didn't work. She tried the old adage of counting sheep, but her sheep soon took on two different faces- every other sheep would be either Zac or Josh and that only frustrated and confused her more. She tried turning her bedside lamp on and reading, but found that her mind was a jumble and the words were running together on the page, so she quickly dog-eared the page she was on and put the book back on the bedside table and gave up on that. She picked up the remote and turned on the television set, hoping to find an old movie classic on AMC that she could fall asleep to, but the one they were showing at the time was a western and she was not at all interested in that. She finally gave up on trying to get to sleep and turned everything off and burrowed back under the covers with Shadow snuggling up against her and spent most of the next several hours tossing and turning. She must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing she knew, she was being woken up by the sun.

It was at that moment that her alarm started blaring, so she pulled herself from the bed and went to turn it off and walked to the storage closet out in the hall and pulled out her small suitcase. She came back to the bedroom and got to work on the task of getting her stuff together for her brief four day stay in New York City for promoting her newest movie, _Beastly._

New York City…

_He and I will be in the same city. _The one simple thought kept running itself over and over in her head which- after last night's dream- slightly panicked her.

Despite the fact that it was a big city and the chances were slim, Vanessa found herself wondering if she would see him at all while she was there. She would be appearing on the David Letterman show and Live with Regis and Kelly, in addition to the CBS Early Show and a brief stint on MTV's the Seven. There also was the New York premiere that Evan had suggested she attend, so she knew her schedule would be full.

As Vanessa gathered clothing items from her closet, she found herself sidestepping the two empty Rubbermaid containers that were sitting in the floor as she walked back to the bed to place the garments in her suitcase. She got the containers prepped for packing when she first returned from Hawaii before going to North Carolina to finish filming on _Journey 2: The Mysterious Island._ It was at that point in time that she was on the verge of accepting the break up and knew she had to start gathering his stuff to clear out from her house and vice versa. She didn't want to face that task- in her mind, it would only make things final and cause the hurt to come all over again- but something told her that the quicker she cleared out his stuff, the easier it would be in the long run, so she went to Target and bought several containers- two of which were currently sitting in her closet floor and were labeled "Clothes".

All of the containers she had bought were still empty, however. Vanessa and Zac had spent time together and had even _spent time together _since his trip to visit her in North Carolina about three weeks after she bought the containers, so their status was still somewhat in the air as far as the two of them were concerned, so after that she decided to wait a little bit more before tackling it.

Vanessa was pulled from her thoughts when her phone rang. She walked over to the bedside table and glanced at the screen. Seeing the name _Evan_ show up on the screen, she instantly answered.

"You're calling to back out, aren't you? You're telling me that you don't want to spend four long torturous days with the wonderful me?" she asked, only to hear a deep chuckle in her ear.

"_Nope. Not in a million years would I pass up a trip with you. You're my favorite traveling companion, don't you know that?"_

"You mean that I'm your favorite charity case right now, don't you?" The young actress shared a joke with her agent. She knew that Evan saw her as his own sister, so when she and Zac broke up, he knew she would need a friend then more than ever and was by her side every step of the way. He also knew that she was a bit anxious about being in the same city as him right now, and that was the main reason he agreed to go to New York with her. It wasn't because he didn't think she could handle the promotional tour, but because of her emotional state that he wanted to be with her these next few days.

"_What do you mean 'charity case'? You're perfectly normal."_

"Perfectly certifiable, you mean."

"_That's debatable," _he argued. _"I didn't wake you, did I?"_

Vanessa glanced at the clock again and saw that it read 8:18. "No, you didn't wake me. I actually have been up since about 3 or so. I didn't sleep well last night."

"_Late night visitor from the East Coast?" _he joked, only to be greeted by silence. _"Vanessa, I was kidding, you know."_

"I know," she said softly. The change in tone took Evan by surprise and he became instantly concerned.

"_Is everything okay?"_

"They've been better," she started. "I had a weird dream last night and I'm just trying to figure what to make of it."

"_A weird Zac dream? Gee, I don't know if I wanna know this after all," _Evan continued in his teasing tone.

"No, not a dream about Zac. Well, not directly, I guess. I mean, someone else was in it, but Zac was definitely a factor."

"_Well, you know you can talk to me about it if you feel the need to. I'm here."_

"I know. And thank you. I appreciate it."

"_Okay, now that that's all taken care of… somewhat. I just wanted to make sure we're clear about the details for this afternoon."_

"You mean the flight and all that?"

"_That's it exactly. Did you get the packet?"_

"Yeah, the messenger came by Friday and dropped it all off. I got the itinerary, the flight and hotel information, the tickets… I think everything I needed was there. Are we riding together or meeting at the airport?"

"_I figured we'd just ride together. I mean, why waste gas on two cars? We have to be at the airport at 2:00 and the flight's at 3:00, so I'll be by there with the car around 1:00. Does that work?"_

"That actually sounds perfect. It gives me time this morning to run an errand or two before I leave." She hesitated, debating if she really wanted to know the answer to her next question. "Um, Evan? Did you ever hear back?"

Evan didn't have to ask what she was talking about. He knew. She was referencing the fact that an invitation to the New York premiere had been sent to Zac's hotel. He hadn't heard back yet if Zac would be attending or not, and Vanessa found herself a little bit nervous about that thought, especially after last night's dream.

"_No, we still haven't heard," _he reluctantly told her.

The two continued their conversation and got all details worked out before ending their call. Vanessa heard the beep in her ear during her conversation with Evan, but decided to let it go to voice mail and not disrupt the what the current call. As she hung up from the first call, she quickly dialed the pass code to her voice mail box and was surprised to have a message waiting on her from her favorite chauffeur.

"_Miss Hudgens, it's Charles. I'm sorry to bother you, but I've got something on my mind. You know that I really care for you and Mr. Efron, right? And I don't ever want to break our trust. I just… ever since I saw that young man kissing you last night… I just couldn't stop thinking about that. I just feel like I need to tell Mr. Efron. I just don't have a good feeling about Mr. Hutcherson and I apologize if I'm overstepping my boundaries, and maybe I'm just too used to Mr. E and won't ever get used to seeing you with someone else. Something inside is telling me to call him. But I'm hesitating because I don't want to betray you. If you don't want me to, I won't say anything. Can you please either just call me back or send a quick text if you don't want me to call him? I'll understand and will respect your wishes, but I just… I guess I just wanted to run it by you first."_

Vanessa held the phone to her ear as she listened to Charles' message. She thought about his words, his concern for both her and Zac, about her dream, and about Josh's surprising actions from the night prior. She pulled up the text message option and quickly typed out a message to Charles.

"_You aren't betraying me, Charles. You're like a third father to me and I trust you. Thank you for checking with me first; I appreciate it. Do what you need to do."_

When the text was sent, she then proceeded to finish her packing and get ready for her day. When she crossed to the dresser to get her jewelry together, she lifted the lid of the jewelry box and pulled out some rings to add to her collection. One in particular caught her eye and her mind went into overdrive once more. Pulling the kuippo ring from its velvet resting place, she held it in the palm of her hand and gently fingered it, thinking back to the time when she and Zac had given them to each other… the second time.

"_So since we've had to get new ones, do they still hold the same meaning for us?" she asked him when they got back to her house from the jewelry store._

"_It does for me," he told her. His intense blue stare held her brown one._

"_Well, I mean, it does for me, too, but the other set was just kind of… I don't know. It was special in its own right. We were in Hawaii when we got those and the ceremony and all that. It was almost like it was official. This one just seems so impulsive or something." _

_Zac watched her as she spoke and reached into the bag to pull the two small boxes out. He opened them both and pulled the bigger ring out, lifting her hand and placing the ring in Vanessa's palm. He took the smaller of the two and held it in his own hand. He stood in front of her and took her right hand in his left and spoke words that caused Vanessa's heart to soar._

"_Vanessa Anne Hudgens, I love you. I promise you that one day, this ring will be replaced by another. But until we're both ready, wear this and know that my love for you is unbreakable." He slowly slid the ring onto her right ring finger._

_She mirrored his actions and spoke words to him that she hoped conveyed all of her emotions and covered the depths of her love for him. She realized now that it wasn't what she said that stuck with her. It was something that he said… __**'my love for you is unbreakable'**__._

_Unbreakable until work gets to be too much and we both realize that we don't have time for each other anymore, _she thought to herself._ Unbreakable until you decide you're ready to move on with a blonde bimbo- Stop it, Vanessa!" _she silently scolded herself, shaking her head at the thought._ "You don't know what happened that night. You have no right to be angry at him until you talk to him and find out for certain and have all the facts."_

She took a deep breath and slowly placed the ring back in the jewelry box and quickly shut it before the emotions of the moment overtook her.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

It was 12:15 when Zac's phone rang in his hotel room on the East Coast. He glanced at the number on the screen of his iPhone and gave a small smile seeing the number of his most commonly used chauffeur. It was rare for Charles to call him, but the older man had been known to do so on occasion.

"I'm not even on the West Coast and yet you still call me," he answered. "Do you really miss me that much, Old Man?"

"_Watch yourself, Mr. E. Remember you will one day be trusting me with all your travel needs when you get back."_

"Oh, Charles, c'mon man. Take a joke." Zac found himself smiling despite his now, somewhat-common, gloomy mood. He couldn't exactly put his finger on it, but for some reason, his body was filled with anxiety. The feeling started last night around 9:00 Pacific time and it stayed with him, resulting in a restless, sleepless night. For reasons that he couldn't figure out, the anxiety stayed with him so far today and was showing no signs of fading anytime soon.

"_Joke all you want to, Mr. Efron, but I have something I need to talk to you about," _Charles told him.

"Charles, you only call me by my full last name when something's going on and you're being serious," Zac pointed out, feeling the anxiety spread from the roots of his hair all the way down to the ends of his toenails. _Why am I so nervous about this call?_

"_It is and I am."_ As hard as he tried, Charles could not hide the severity in his tone. _"It's about Miss Hudgens."_

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

She had endured a long flight. Vanessa never minded flying- especially when she had a companion- but this particular flight was an extremely long and stressful one for her. She couldn't explain her emotions, but they were all over the place and knowing that she was going to be so close to him and yet potentially not see him was not helping at all.

She sat in her first class window seat with her chin resting in her hand and her elbow on the arm rest, staring out into the clouds as the plane began its descent onto the tarmac. Evan noticed her silence through the flight.

"I'm just tired. Hopefully I can get some sleep once we've taken off," she told him when he questioned her about it. It wasn't long after the plane was in the air that she settled her head against the head rest and leaned the seat back a tiny bit and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. It never did, though, and despite the fact she tried to play possum to fool Evan, the act didn't work. He could tell she wasn't really asleep and held an internal battle over whether he should push her to talk about it or let it be. He decided to just let it go and settled back in his own seat, pulling out his laptop to try and get some work done on behalf of one of his other clients.

As soon as the plane was on the ground and the passengers were exiting the aircraft, Vanessa reached for her phone and turned it back on. It instantly began buzzing with a new text message. She looked at the time and saw that it came in at 3:37 Pacific time, just as the plane was taking off. She kept walking as she opened the text and stopped in her tracks when she saw the name of the sender. '_Boo'_ it read. The pause in her walking caused Evan to approach her.

"Everything okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she said distracted. "Yeah, it's fine. Just reading this text real quick. Sorry."

Her heartbeat sped up as she read the words that had been sent to her.

"_Call me when you're settled. Need to talk about something."_

That was it. Simple and straight to the point… the only time he was that abrupt was when he was on edge about something. That piece of knowledge caused her to panic somewhat.

_What does he need to talk about? Does he know something?_ she wondered to herself. Shaking her head, her thoughts continued. _Don't be silly, Vanessa. There's nothing for him to know._

She quickly proceeded to type out a reply.

"_Just landed. Will call from the hotel."_

What she didn't say was _"Evan's with me. Let me call when I'm alone", _but Zac knew her well enough to be able to read between the lines and know what she meant.

When she was done, she dropped her phone back in her purse and turned her attention back to Evan, silently telling him that she was once again ready to proceed through the airport.

"The photographers are already down there. I called the driver and had him get our bags and to be waiting. Are you feeling like autographs?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll do a few," she told him. The two made their way to the escalators, through the photographers, and out the door to the car- Vanessa signing autographs every few steps as they went.

It wasn't long before they were checked into the hotel and Vanessa was in her room- Evan in his one floor below her. As she got settled, she picked up her phone and walked into the living room area. She sat down on the couch and got as comfortable as she could, given her current mood and took a few deep breaths to soothe her before she pulled up the all too familiar number and hit send. She pulled the phone to her ear and waited. Finally the voice that still caused a shiver to travel up her spine sounded in her ears.

"_Are you all settled in the room?" _he asked.

Vanessa smiled as she heard his question. "You could say that. What's going on?"

"_Where are you staying this visit?"_

"Why, are you going to sneak in my room and seduce me?" she spoke without thinking. The blush that spread across her cheeks couldn't have appeared faster. "I'm sorry. I guess that's inappropriate anymore, huh?"

"_Old habits die hard, Van. Don't worry about it."_

"You asked me to call because you wanted to talk about something?" she asked, attempting to change the subject.

"_Let's meet while you're here. Dinner, coffee, something. What we need to talk about isn't for over the phone."_

"Sounds serious," she attempted to joke. Noticing that he didn't laugh, she continued. "Okay, um, my schedule is somewhat crammed while I'm here. I'm going to the Knicks game Wednesday. Maybe after that, meet somewhere?"

"_That sounds doable." _

They solidified their plans for Wednesday evening and where they would meet, and Vanessa asked a question that had been running through her mind since she got the text from him about an hour and a half earlier.

"Zac, is everything okay? You seem kind of… I don't know, distracted, I guess?"

"_Vanessa, I'm fine."_

"Well, there must be something going on. You don't call me 'Vanessa' unless you're upset about something."

"_I'm fine!" _he snapped. He instantly regretted being so short with her. He didn't know how much truth there was in the news that Charles had shared with him earlier and knew it would be unfair to get so upset with her without knowing the details. He softened his tone. _"I'm fine."_

"Okay, then. If you're so fine, I um, I guess I'll let you go. I didn't sleep very well last night and just want to get comfy."

"It's okay. I know you've got a busy few days going on. I'll see you Wednesday." He hung up and let out a groan of annoyance. He was hoping that he could pick up even the smallest clue of what Charles had told him in her voice, but got nothing. One phrase kept running itself over and over in his mind:

"… _I didn't sleep very well last night…"_

He found himself wondering exactly why she didn't sleep very well last night. The only times that she didn't sleep very well involved him. That didn't help ease his mind at all.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

Wednesday found Vanessa at the Madison Square Gardens, watching the New York Knicks as they won their game. She was happy to attend the game with her former _Bandslam _co-star, Gaelan_._ The two hadn't seen each other since the movie hit theatres, so the two attempted to play catch-up during the game. When Vanessa first discovered the cameras, she made the decision that she would be fine; she wasn't going to let her nerves over seeing Zac after the game be obvious. She couldn't pinpoint the source of her nerves. She knew he wanted to talk to her about something, but didn't know what. Maybe that's what was causing her to be so uptight- the not knowing what was to come.

Finally, to her dismay- or was it relief?-, the final buzzer of the game rang and she and Gaelan bid farewell to each other. As she made her way outside to find a cab, she sent a quick text to Zac letting him know that the game was over and she was on her way, and then to Evan letting him know what she was up to. She really liked the relationship she and Evan had. He of course took care of the professional side of her life, but she appreciated that he also looked out for her personally, too. She knew that once she told him _"I'm meeting Zac", _he wouldn't ask questions.

Vanessa arrived at the small, relatively unknown coffee shop all too soon for her liking. As she arrived, she saw Zac sitting just inside at a table in the corner. The two greeted each other, walked to the counter to order their drinks, and made their way back to the table and made themselves comfortable.

"So how are you? How's filming?" she asked, trying to spark the conversation and move past the uncomfortable moment.

"It's going good. I think I'm almost done. I should be back home by the end of next week," he told her.

"Good. That's good," Vanessa said. "I know you're probably ready to get home and not have to go anywhere for a while."

"Yeah."

_When did things get so awkward with us?_ she wondered._ Okay, this is stupid. Just tell him, Ness._

"Um, Zac, I know you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about, but I have to say something first."

"Okay," he said. Zac sat studying her face, trying to search for some clues.

Vanessa took a deep breath before continuing. "We promised each other that we'd be honest with each other." When he nodded, she continued. "Well, something happened that I feel like I need to tell you." Vanessa paused, watching his face for some sign of support. She found that for the first time in their relationship, she was unable to read his expression. This realization frightened her somewhat.

_Like a band aid, Ness,_ she told herself. _Just rip it off._ She took a deep breath and lowered her eyes, unable to look him in the face as she spoke the next three words.

"I kissed Josh."

Vanessa slowly lifted her eyes and noticed a mix of emotions playing out in his eyes. Jealousy, anger, hurt… She tried to get his attention after the silence became too deafening. "Zac?"

"I thought it was the other way around," he practically whispered.

"What?"

"I thought he kissed you," he repeated as he lowered his own eyes to look at the table.

"How did you- Wait, oh, Charles." The older man's message came rushing back to Vanessa's memory. _It all makes sense. He saw the kiss; of course he followed through and called Zac!_

"He called me on Monday," Zac admitted. She nodded her confirmation.

"Yeah, he called me and told me that he didn't want to _betray _me. I guess he must have felt like he was betraying you by not saying anything. He obviously saw the whole thing."

She watched as Zac continued to stay silent and it was starting to concern her. She knew from past experience that his silence was not good.

"Zac?" she said to get his attention. When he looked up at her, she saw that his normally bright blue eyes were now a dull grey color. "What are you thinking?"

"So which was it?" he asked.

"What?" Vanessa was a little confused by his question.

Zac kept staring at the table, not sure if he wanted to continue, but knowing that he needed his answer, no matter how hard it would be to hear it. "Was it him? Or you? Who kissed who? Or whom… whatever."

Vanessa watched him as he stared downward. She wasn't sure if the truth would help the matter, but in all honesty, she knew Charles was right. He did deserve to know.

"He- Josh- kind of surprised me. He walked me to my door and before I knew it… He started it, I guess. I tried to push him away, but-"

"He's always been a factor, hasn't he?" Zac interrupted after hearing enough.

"What? No! Zac, it's not like that. He was at the Oscar party Sunday night and Ashley and I let him share the car with us. When we got to my house, he walked me to the door and totally caught me by surprise with the kiss."

"Vanessa, he's been right there, for months now, just waiting for just that right moment to make his move. He was always jealous of us and trying to push his way between us and you know it."

Hearing him say those words pushed her over the edge and she snapped.

"You know, Josh kissing me is really the least of our worries! At least I'm being honest and telling you about it before you hear about it on the news!"

"That's unfair and you know it! You were filming; I couldn't reach you to tell you about that night."

"You didn't even try, Zac! I had no texts, no voice mails, no emails, nothing! You didn't even try to reach me to warn me that the rumors were going to get started and that hurt. To this _day_, Zac, you still haven't said one word about _Teresa_!" The realization that she had just admitted more than she had intended caused her to stop mid rant. _You've gotten this far; may as well continue,_ she thought. She softened her voice as she continued.

"It hurts to see you- hell, to even think of you going out with others. This isn't the way it was supposed to happen. Hearing about it on the news is like a giant slap in the face. It's like you're saying 'Screw you, Vanessa. I'll do whatever the hell I want to' and that hurts to think that you don't care about my feelings at all anymore. At least I'm telling you about this kiss. I knew it would make you angry, but I also knew it would make you angrier to hear about it on the news."

The two sat in silence for several minutes, working out their individual thoughts and feelings in their mind.

_She's got a point,_ Zac realized. Finally he took a deep breath and became daring enough to ask the one question that he was wondering about ever since he heard reports of her 'moving on' and having a 'new man'. He knew she probably had the same thoughts, but he knew he had to be the one to ask. He took a sip of his drink and swallowed, put his cup down on the table, and chanced reaching across the table to take her hands in his own.

"I hear you, Vanessa. It's-" he paused as he swallowed again, pushing his pride aside as he did so. "You're right, okay? I'm wrong and you're right- as always. It's unfair for me to react like that, especially when I haven't told you anything. As much as it hurts, I glad you're telling me about kissing… _him_." He watched as she lifted her eyes- the eyes that he had been so deeply in love with and, if he was honest with himself, still was- and studied his face.

_Oh, God, that gorgeous face, _she thought to herself- as he continued talking.

Zac cleared his throat. "I have one question for you. And you say you want me to be honest? Well, I need you to be honest with me." He held still as she ran the pads of her thumb over the back of his hand, encouraging him to continue.

"What do you want?" he asked finally, with a slight tremble in his voice.

Vanessa furrowed her brows in confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked him.

"Have you had any kinds of thoughts at all about Josh or anyone else?"

"I um, I had a dream Sunday night after he kissed me. Not a 'It was nice' kind of dream, but I guess… I guess I was just confused and it kept playing itself over and over in my mind. I didn't sleep much that night. But as far as having those types of thoughts about him or anyone, no, not really."

"Then what do you want?"

Vanessa didn't have to think about her answer. It was a question that she had been asking herself a lot lately and she finally decided to bare all to him. If she didn't do it now, she may not get another chance. That thought alone caused the tears to appear in her eyes. Her voice shook with emotion when she finally spoke again.

"I want you but I know I'm not supposed to." She shrugged her shoulders slightly showing her resolve and decided to just let the tears fall. It wasn't an act; no matter how good she was at crying on cue for the cameras, Zac knew this was real. "I just don't know right now. I can't just throw my feelings for you away, but yet something tells me that I'm supposed to, at least for the time being."

Zac watched as all the emotions came pouring out from the heart of the woman he loved. It pained him to see her like this, but knew it was the way it was and there was nothing they could do about it- for now. He listened as she continued.

"I see pictures of you and the blank looks on your face. And all this not hearing from you… It just tells me that it's done, that _we're _done. My head just keeps playing it over and over and it tells me 'Just let it go, Vanessa. Let… _him_… go'. But that's not what my heart says. My heart says I still want you...and I need you. I can't just shut that off."

The tears were coming faster now, but Vanessa didn't let that stop her. He said he wanted to know, and she's was going to be 100% honest with him.

"I know what I don't want. I don't want my heart to hurt every time I hear that you've just gone out- with friends, alone, whatever. I don't want to have empty boxes at my house waiting for me to pack your stuff in them. I don't want to walk through my house and see all of the pictures of you and I together in all the places we've been and wonder what I should replace them with. I don't want to hurt anymore- I want everything to just go away; to go back to six months ago. I don't want to go to sleep with Shadow in my big bed all by myself. That's what I don't want. But we can't go back now, can we?"

Zac sat in silence, taking in all that she had just revealed to him. He allowed her to pull one of her hands from his and wipe furiously under her eyes.

Zac let out a long sigh and squeezed her hand, taking strength from her tiny body. He didn't want to speak his next words, but he knew it needed to be done. He looked deep in her still wet eyes and began.

"My heart says I still love you. The time apart is hard, but that's what I've been trying to listen to. But maybe your head's right. Maybe we both need to start thinking with our heads - about us - and not our hearts. So I guess it's up to you, Van. Do you want to listen to your heart or your head?"

Vanessa shook her head, not sure she understood what he meant. Correction- she understood perfectly, but did she want to understand?

"Zac, what are you saying?" she asked slowly.

"I'm not sure what I'm saying. I went out with Teresa. You shared a kiss with Josh. We've never had anything like that in five years. Nothing but tabloid garbage trying to run our names and our relationship through the mud. But now, as much as it hurts to say this, I feel like I'm slowly losing little pieces of you and I'm struggling to hang on. And I'm scared that if I don't start letting go then I'm gonna lose all of _me _while I'm wondering what's happening with you."

"So you're saying we need to let go… of each other? Because you went out one time with someone else and I unintentionally kissed an 18 year old guy? Is that what you're saying?" Vanessa shook her head. As much as she tried, Vanessa couldn't keep the edge from her voice and Zac closed his eyes as he listened to her verbal attack before he continued.

"Van, there's some little part in both of us that's telling us that we need to see what else is out there. What else is there? Who else is there? _Is _there anything or anyone else there? And if so, will that something or someone satisfy us more than we can satisfy each other? We know us, together. We don't know us apart; we haven't for five years. If there wasn't that little part in each of us that was wondering, then there would've been no Teresa and no Josh."

Through his speech, Vanessa's eyes were wandering through the small coffee shop, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"So as of right now, there is no us?"

His heart broke hearing the hurt and vulnerability in her voice.

"As of right now?" He moved his head so their eyes met. He wanted her to see all the love and emotion in his eyes as he spoke his next words. "I love you. More than anything. But if you still love me, then we need to figure out what that means to each of us- individually, separately- before we can be an 'us' again."

Brown eyes met blue and the two locked stares. No words needed to be spoken. Their silent communication was enough for both. All the love, all the desire, all the heartache was passed between each. They finished their coffees in silence and walked outside, Zac hailing a cab for Vanessa. When one pulled to a stop, he opened the door for her and gave instructions to the cabbie inside, making sure he knew which hotel she needed to be taken to- and handed the driver some money from his wallet.

"Zac, you don't have to-"

"Van," he gave the unspoken request to let him have his moment of chivalry. She nodded her consent and gave a sad smile, knowing how much she was going to miss that about him.

He held his arms open, inviting her in, and she walked forward. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her tiny waist and she brought her arms up between them until they were around his neck. They stood there on the sidewalk, holding each other for a silent moment. No words needed to be spoken in those emotionally charged seconds. Zac broke the hug first and placed a loving kiss to her cheek. Vanessa pressed herself against his lips, silently requesting he hold the kiss for a second longer. Finally, Vanessa pulled away and turned her head so she could face him, bringing her hands up to run through his hair. She gave a small, sad smile as she spoke.

"I can't stop loving you. You know that can't just end."

"I know. And I won't stop loving you either." Zac paused and ran his hands up and down her back as he reveled in the feel of her fingers gently rubbing his scalp. "But until life stops tossing us all of these crazy twists…"

"Will that ever happen?"

Zac took note of the sad look in her eyes and brought his hand to rest against her cheek. "I have faith that it will...someday."

Vanessa took a risk and stood on her tiptoes, placing a brief, gentle kiss to his lips- one that she hoped conveyed all the love she felt for him. Six words ran through her mind, and she verbalized them.

"My love for you is unbreakable."

Zac stood there on the sidewalk in the chilly New York night air with his eyes closed. He didn't have to ask- he knew to what she was referencing. He counted out a full minute and a half in his mind before opening them again, refusing to watch her climb in the yellow taxi and shut the door behind her, or even watch the vehicle as it pulled into the traffic and away from the curb, taking his love and part of his heart with it. With a deep sigh, he turned his back on the direction in which the cab just went and started walking another two blocks in an attempt to clear his mind before hailing a cab for himself.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

Between the tears and the internal battle that the two had in fact done the right thing, it was another sleepless night for Vanessa. The only down side to not having slept well these past few nights was the fact that she was in New York City to work and had two appearances Thursday morning. She had to be at the CBS studios at 7:30 and then go directly to the ABC studios all the way across town for her visit to Regis and Kelly. Knowing this fact, Vanessa had set her alarm the previous night right before she literally fell on top of the bed. As much as she didn't feel like being in front of the cameras, she had no choice but to push her personal life aside for the day and be the professional that she was.

Before the alarm had a chance to go off, however, the door to her suite opens. Vanessa was not surprised to know that someone had just entered. Evan always got an extra key to his clients' room whenever they traveled. He said it was because he had one oversleep and as a result was late to an appearance, so it was always a precaution that he took from that day forward. She turned over in the bed to face the bedroom door just in time to see Evan appear. He walked to her side of the bed and held a Starbucks cup out to her and simultaneously reached over to shut off the alarm before it sounded. Once Vanessa had readjusted her pillows so she could sit up and lean against the head board, she reached for the cup.

"Thank you," she said in a small voice. Evan sat down on the foot of the bed and the two sat in silence, Vanessa sipping on her coffee but not really tasting anything and Evan watching her eyes, wondering when she would spill all. He had the feeling when he got her text the previous night saying that she would be meeting with Zac that something big would happen and was prepared for the worst. Finally, Vanessa broke the silence first.

"He's not coming," she told him in a flat tone.

Evan didn't have to ask who she was talking about or where they weren't going to be. All it took was one look at her red, slightly puffy eyes and all the emotions that she had stored in them for him to know.

"What do you mean? I thought you two were going to talk last night."

"We did. It's done."

"For now," he scoffed. "You know that by next week you both will be-"

"No," she interrupted as she looked at him. "Evan, it's done."

There was a moment of silence as Evan searched her face for some clues that last night resulted in yet another "we don't know what we're going to do" conversation, but he knew better. He knew her too well. When she was this adamant about something, that was it. He nodded his understanding and slowly ran his hand over his face and he processed this information.

"How are you?" he asked sincerely.

Vanessa gave a small shrug as she thought about her answer to that question. "I've been better. My heart hurts. My head hurts. My whole body hurts."

"Are you up for today?" he asked with compassion.

"I can't do that. I won't do that. I'm not the type to cancel. I made a commitment to be there and I'll be there. The cameras will be on me and I'll be fine," she told him with conviction. She averted her eyes from his as she spoke her next words. "By myself however…"

"Are you sure?"

"He knows my schedule, Evan. I'm not going to give him any hint that this has affected me this deeply." She sniffled as she took another sip of her coffee. Suddenly, she made a face as something dawned on her. "Man, Evan! No cream or sugar? How long have you been doing this every morning that we travel?"

Evan chuckled at her delayed reaction to the black coffee. "Something told me you'd need every ounce you can get with nothing extra added today. It looks like I was right." He watched as she rolled her eyes at him and leaned over to set her cup on the bedside table.

"Nessa...he's a man, yes, but he's not stupid. If you _saw _each other and had this discussion, or argument or whatever together- in person- then he knows how much you are hurting. If he loves you like he's always claimed to, he knows. And don't you think he's hurting too?"

Vanessa didn't answer as she mulled his words over in her mind. She stared over at the Starbucks cup on the table and bit at her lip. She and Evan were so in synch with each other that he knew that look to mean that all sorts of emotions were running through her mind at that moment.

"Ness, let me make the calls. I'll tell them you got sick; I'll take the heat for the short notice," he tried again.

"Evan, no. I'm not going to cancel my appearances. That's not who I am and you know it. I have to keep going as normal. I can't stay in bed all day wallowing like this."

"Wallowing is good sometimes."

"I'll wallow when I get back to Los Angeles." Suddenly she furrowed her brows in confusion. "And when did you get to be all feminine and in tune with your feelings all of a sudden?" she asked, half serious, half teasing.

"I have a daughter, remember?"

"She's five!" Evan chuckled as Vanessa rolled her eyes. He watched as she took another sip of the bitter, hot liquid.

"Okay, you know what? I have to stay busy. And with that being said, what time are we leaving for CBS?"

"6:30," Evan answered.

"Then I need to get in the shower and get ready. If you want to wait out there, I'll be out in about 15 or 20 minutes. Otherwise you can go out and get me a real coffee. None of this straight black crap. You know better," she mock scolded him.

Evan chuckled and told her "I'll head back to my room. I'm not stupid either. I'm not gonna be here to answer the phone when he calls to check on you."

"There won't be a call this time," she regretfully told him.

"Yeah. You keep telling yourself that," he said with a pointed look. As if on cue, the phone rang. Vanessa's eyes widened at the irony and Evan smirked. "His 'morning after' calls keep getting earlier and earlier, don't they?"

"I believe you were leaving?" she asked, giving him a glare as she pulled herself from the bed and crossed the room to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"_Miss Hudgens, good morning. This is Ray, the concierge. I was just calling to see if you needed anything sent up before you left for your appointments this morning. Some breakfast, or just coffee even?"_

"No, thank you, _Ray,"_ she emphasized his name as she looked in Evan's direction. "I'm not really that hungry and my assistant was just about to go out and get me some coffee while I get ready. I appreciate the call, though. Thank you, again." She hung up the phone and turned her attention back to her friend. "See? I told you. No call this time," she told him sadly as she walked toward the bathroom. "I'll see you in a little bit, Evan."

Before he could say any more on the subject, the bathroom door was closed and the lock was twisted, keeping the outside world out. Evan took her nonverbal hint that the conversation was over.

Evan turned to walk out of the room as he heard the water come on in the shower and one thought ran through his mind.

_No call for now,_ he told himself. _I give it three weeks tops before I'm hearing his name again._

As he took a step into the living room, he heard Vanessa's cell phone ring. He recognized the ring tone and smiled softly.

_And there it is..._

Without even attempting to answer the call, he knew what Zac was saying on her voice mail. He also knew that he wouldn't have to ask because Vanessa would tell him… eventually.

Evan knew the next several months for Vanessa were going to be hard as she adjusted to her new single life other than the life she was accustomed to. He made a promise with himself that he wasn't going to stand by her through it all just because he was on her payroll to do so, but also because he was her friend.

She was going to need one of those now more than ever, after all.


	3. The Premiere

The premiere had been one of the best the Vanessa had encountered through out her career. The cast gathered together like the family they had become and supported each other. The fans had come and were screaming the name of everyone involved- Zack included. The showing of the movie had a huge response from the press- all positive so far. And the after party was in full swing.

Vanessa and the other five ladies that made up the almost entirely female cast had gone their separate ways and were making their rounds through the crowd, getting stopped every few steps by either a friend telling them congratulations, another celebrity telling them how much they enjoyed the movie, or a member of the press hoping to get a quick interview. Vanessa's eyes finally landed on the small group she had been looking for so she excused herself from talking to Joe Jonas and made her way in their direction.

"Ness!" her younger sister called out when she saw Vanessa approaching.

"Hey!" She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Stella. The two sisters squeezed each other before Vanessa pulled back and greeted her mom.

"I was trying to get over here sooner, but it's so crazy tonight! I don't think it's been this insane since the _High School Musical _premiere."

"You're in high demand tonight," Gina told her.

"I know!" Vanessa said in disbelief. She turned to face her father, who had his eyes facing down studying the carpet at his feet. "Dad? You're quiet. What's up?"

Greg lifted his eyes slowly and looked at Vanessa in the face. She couldn't help but notice the empty expression that stared back at her.

_Uh-oh, _she thought with disappointment. _He didn't like it._

She bit her lip nervously as she waited on Greg to speak. His opinion always meant a lot to her and because she had purposefully not told him a lot about this movie and hadn't prepared him for what he would be seeing tonight, she had been anxious to see what he had to say about _Sucker Punch_… up until this very moment.

"Daddy?" Greg's blank stare disappeared as he heard his daughter's voice speaking to him. "You didn't like it, did you?" she asked in a small voice.

"Baby, the movie itself was every guy's dream action movie. I'm not going to lie; as a guy, yes, I loved the movie. As a father whose daughter is in that movie…"

Vanessa rolled her eyes as what her father was about to say finally dawned on her.

"…it's just a hard pill to take, you know?"

"Daddy, you saw me in _Rent_. You've seen the _Details _pictures. How is this different?"

"In _Rent_ you weren't a pissed off, butt kicking, machine gun firing, dragon killing… something. You were an AIDS patient who just happened to have a risqué job that allowed her to pay her bills. Believe me, it's different."

Vanessa couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips at her father's run down of her character.

"But overall…?" She continued cautiously, prompting him to continue.

"Overall, the movie was amazing. All of you did a fantastic job."

"Thank you, Daddy," she said, releasing a sigh of relief as she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a kiss to his cheek. Greg wrapped his own arms around her tiny waist and held her tight.

"Can you do me a favor, though?" he whispered in her ear.

"What's that?" Vanessa had the feeling that this was purely a Daddy/ Baby V moment, so she kept their tones hushed as the two held their embrace.

"Stay my little girl and quit doing stuff like this."

She pulled back and looked her father square in the eyes. Vanessa worked to keep the smirk off her face as she joked back with him.

"What do you need me for? You've still got Stella. Make her stay your 'little girl'." She gave Greg a small wink to let him know that she was only joking and he leaned in to give her a kiss to her cheek.

"I love you, Vanessa."

"I love you, too, Daddy."

Vanessa took Stella over to the bar so the two could get a drink- Vanessa opting for a glass of wine and ordering a virgin daiquiri for Stella- and stayed and visited with her family for another few minutes before she heard her name being called. She turned to see one of her co-stars Abbie waving her over.

"Guys, I better get over there and see what's going on. I'll talk to you in a little bit."

As she turned to walk away, she spotted another co-star of hers from _Journey 2 _approaching.

"You made it!" she said in greeting.

"I did!" Josh told her. "I told you I would."

"No, you said you'd try. There's a difference."

The two talked for just a minute- Josh telling Vanessa how much he enjoyed the movie- before Jena appeared at her side.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt, but Ms. Social Butterfly? We need you over there. Another interview, believe it or not."

Vanessa made an exaggerated disapproving face before giggling and Jena laughed.

"Girl, I feel you. It never ends!" Jena said.

"Josh, I'll catch up with you later." The two ladies walked off and Josh watched their retreating figures, unaware of another pair of eyes watching him from a distance.

**ZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVFZVF**

Earlier in the day, the internal _Should I or shouldn't I? _battle raged extreme in Zac's mind. He and Vanessa had talked about this particular premiere right after the release date was announced during Comic Con last summer. Together they decided that this night would be hers. Even before the breakup when it was a given that he would be her date on this evening, he told her that he would allow her to walk the carpet without him and meet her inside where he would wait with her family so as to not attract attention to himself or to them as a couple. He knew this night would be important to her and the other ladies of the film, so that was an easy decision for him and she quickly agreed that that wouldn't be a bad idea.

However, after their heartbreaking- yet unavoidable- split, Vanessa and Zac had the unspoken assumption that he wouldn't be there tonight. That thought slightly caused Vanessa's heart to sink.

Zac had been with her through the entirety of shooting this movie. He was there to see all the physical changes to her body as she trained. He was there every night as she proudly showed off each new bruise- especially the one that covered almost the entire right side of her body that she received after the physical scene where her character gets roughly thrown on the floor of the dressing room. He was there visiting the set to see her adrenaline pumping one of the days she filmed some of the fight sequences. He saw the excitement all over her face that she felt at firing the weapons (and had even admitted to her one night that he was slightly terrified of her when he saw the look on her face as she fired the saw. "It just makes me realize even more that I should never get on your bad side," he joked with her.) Zac knew how much this movie meant to her and she was looking forward to being able to share it with him.

But when his visit to her on the set of _Journey 2 _in North Carolina occurred back in January and the two had that dreaded _What's really going on between us?_ conversation before he left, she knew that having him by her side tonight was more than likely not going to happen. And as much as it hurt, she had come to accept the simple fact that she would be solo at the premiere of one of the biggest movies of her career. She had been doing okay and was quite proud of herself for keeping it together as well as she had… until she glanced to her left and spotted Emily getting a kiss from her boyfriend Max. Vanessa sighed and looked away, only to see Ashlan Gorse walking her way with a cameraman from E News. Plastering a smile on her face, Vanessa reached her arms out and gave Ashlan a hug in greeting.

After giving one of the many brief interviews for the evening, Vanessa turned and spotted a figure in the corner of the room watching her. She watched as the figure himself turned and started to walk out onto the balcony. Careful to not let her smile get too big, she too made her way to stand underneath the dark sky and bright lights of Hollywood.

"How was San Francisco?" she asked as she stepped through the door and watched as the other person shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, you know. A vacation with the family is just that… a vacation-"

"-with the family," she finished for him. "Not always the most relaxing way to enjoy a vacation, is it?"

"Especially with Dylan around," he said and the two shared a chuckle. Vanessa just looked at Zac for a moment trying to get all her thoughts processed before she spoke again.

"I um… I didn't think you'd be here," she said softly as the hair that was purposefully left out of the clip to frame her face blew gently in the wind. She brought her right hand up to brush the hair back and Zac noticed the few rings on her fingers and took in the fact that one in particular was not there. That simple fact caused a pit to form in his stomach.

_I'll never get used to not seeing it there,_ he thought to himself as he tucked his own right hand in the pocket of his pants and fingered his own ring that was safely hidden from public view.

He watched as Vanessa set her clutch on the nearby table and opened it, pulling out a tube of lip gloss and a small compact mirror. When she was done reapplying the gloss to her lips, she dropped the tube and mirror back into her purse and the small band of gold that she carried with her everywhere- always completely hidden from the public- caught her eye. Zac cleared his throat before answering her question.

"Yeah, well, um… I just…" Zac shrugged his shoulders, not entirely sure where he was going with that particular train of thought. He brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck and decided to just be honest with her. _This is Vanessa, you idiot. You don't have to hide things from her._ "I don't know. I remembered how important this night is for you and I guess I just had to be here to see it all happening."

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad you're here."

"Me, too."

Neither could hide the sadness as their gazes locked.

_I should be holding your hand showing my support publicly to everyone who will pay attention, _he silently communicated to her.

_Why are we even in this situation? _she mentally asked him.

_Because we're stupid, _he repeated to himself.

Zac looked down at his shoes- his Calvin Kline's that Vanessa had helped him pick out before the _Charlie St. Cloud _premiere last summer-and sighed.

"So were you able to see the movie, or did you just come for the after party?" she asked, changing the subject.

"No. No, I saw it." Zac pretended to play with something on the concrete with the toe of his shoe. _Anything to keep from looking in those eyes, _he told himself.

"I didn't see you at the theatre," she pointed out.

"I sat in the back. I tried to make sure no one saw me come in."

"Why?" she asked him, slightly confused.

"Because this night is about you and the other girls, Van. It's not about us." Her mouth opened slightly in understanding at his admission. "I wasn't about to take the spotlight from all of you and point it on us."

"I get it." She looked at the ground and blinked a few times to rid her eyes of the wetness that had instantly appeared. Vanessa swallowed hard and brought her gaze up to meet his before speaking again. "So what'd ya think?" No matter where the two of them were in their private lives, his opinion would always matter to her. "And be honest. You know I hate it when you try to water down your opinion of my stuff just to spare my feelings."

Zac chuckled. He looked up at the stars to try and find the right words to use to describe her latest movie. "Um… Intense. Sexy. Fear. There was definitely fear there-"

"Fear? At what?"

"At the looks on all of your faces when you're kicking ass! It scared the mess out of me!"

Vanessa laughed at his description. "What else?"

The two continued their discussion of _Sucker Punch _for several minutesand how Zac thought the movie would do great things for her. Finally Vanessa decided to be honest.

"I miss this."

"Miss what?"

"This," she pointed back and forth between them. "Us."

"I know," he said softly, slowly taking a step in her direction. "I miss it, too."

"What are we doing, Zac?" The gap between them was slowly narrowing as the two continued to move closer to each other.

"We're doing what we thought was best for us," he said in a low voice as he ran his fingers slowly up her arms, causing goose bumps to appear in their trail.

"Do we still think this is best for us?" she questioned in a near whisper.

"Vanessa…" he started, then stopped himself as he removed his hand from her arm and ran it over his face, taking a step back in the process.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone there," she said, blushing slightly.

"No, it's not that," he quickly told her.

"Then what is it?"

"It's just… Maybe I shouldn't have come."

The shock at what he said was evident on her face. "Why?"

"Because you and I, we've been doing good, yeah? I mean, this whole friends thing has been working okay for us, right?"

"Yeah…" she said slowly, not sure where he was going with this. "I guess."

"Well, I come here tonight to support one of my best friends in what is sure to be an amazing career changing movie and I take one look at you and the male part of my brain says I shouldn't have come!"

"Zac…" Vanessa began, trying unsuccessfully once again to hide her blush.

"No, Van I'm serious. To say you look amazing would be one of the biggest understatements ever. You look… I can't even say how you look and still be perceived as a gentleman!"

Her blush deepened and she giggled.

"I can't hide the fact that I wish things had been different for us," he went on. "I wish things had worked out and I could be your arm candy for once. You've been so supportive of me these past few years and for that I will be forever grateful. Now it's your turn to have someone by your side and be supportive of you, and I couldn't even give you that."

"Zac, we've talked about this. What happened between us isn't your fault. It's neither of our faults."

"I just can't help but feel like I allowed our careers to get in the way. I can't help but think 'what if I'd tried harder' or 'what if I'd planned our schedules better'. Maybe then things would have been different for us."

"There's nothing we ourselves could have done. It happened. And I want to go on the record to say that I will forever be grateful to you."

It was Zac's turn to be surprised. "For what?"

"You and I met when we were basically kids and we grew up together. That's no secret. But it's by watching you as you work that I learned what this business is all about. I learned who I am and- I think this one is the most painful lesson I learned from our time together and essentially our break up, but I also learned that I don't need someone by my side every step of the way. I can make it on my own and I don't have to have a second opinion about everything I do professionally."

Vanessa paused to watch as he took in what she was saying. She felt the lump forming in her throat once again, and pushed it away to get her next thoughts out.

"As much as it hurts and as much as I don't want to admit it, I can do this alone. I miss sitting in bed reading scripts with you. I miss talking about our next projects together and getting your opinion on options that I have. I miss not just our professional relationship, but- more importantly- I miss our private life as well. I miss feeling you hold me. I miss the way you make me feel when we're alone, whether it be something as simple as snuggling on the couch together and watching movies at home, or swimming in the pool in the backyard, whatever we may be doing. I miss your kisses. I miss making love with you. I won't lie- I just miss _you_. I miss _us_. No matter how you look at it, I. Miss. You. I always will. You will forever hold a very, very exclusive spot in my heart and I love you." She paused when she saw Zac reach a hand up and felt him wipe away the few tears that she didn't even know had escaped her eyes and started making their way down her cheeks. "I thank you for everything you've taught me. About myself, about our crazy job, about love."

"You know, I could be saying the same thing to you."

"What are you talking about? What have you leaned from me?" she asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I learned to be a fighter. Van, I've seen you encounter some crazy shit. Stuff that no one should ever have to encounter. You've had more people screw you over in one way or another in the past several years and even now in these past couple of weeks, yet you never let it get to you. You always stood there, took a deep breath, and fought back and somehow still managed to be as incredibly sexy as ever. I learned to not be afraid to express my feelings. I always held things in, but you forced me to open up and talk. 'Communication is important in any relationship' you always told me. You always forced me to sit down and talk about stuff instead of letting it fester until it finally blew up in my face. You taught me how having a hot girlfriend on my arm drives the fans crazy." He paused to watch her reaction. Noticing her eye roll, they both laughed and he continued. "I'm kidding. Although it didn't hurt…" This time he didn't back away when she playfully smacked him on the chest and he chuckled. He took her hand in his and held it to his chest where she could feel his heart beating. "I love you, Vanessa. I always will. You'll forever have a place right here."

Hearing his tender words caused even more tears to roll down her cheeks. Sniffling slightly, she kept their hands joined and used her free hand to gently swipe them away.

"You somehow manage to always do this, don't you?"

"Do what?"

"Make me cry and as a result wonder what my makeup looks like before I go face everyone again."

Zac cupped her chin and playfully tilted her face from side to side, trying to get a good look in the small amount of light they had on the balcony. Finally after studying it for a moment, he answered her unspoken question.

"Beautiful as always. Not a single mascara track seen."

"Good," she said with a nod. Zac removed his hand from her chin and pulled out the chair that was next to the table.

"Have a seat. I'll be right back." He escaped inside and within moments returned with two glasses of champagne in his hands. He urged Vanessa to stand and handed one of the glasses to her while keeping the other for himself.

"A toast," he said, holding his glass up in the air, prompting Vanessa to do the same.

"What are we toasting?" she asked.

"Well, mainly we're toasting friendship. But we're not stopping there because we're toasting the craziness that is our lives, all the fun we have while enduring it, and all the amazing projects we get to be a part of."

"I'll drink to that," she said with a smile. The two clinked their glasses together and each took a sip.

"I can't wait to see what all _Sucker Punch _is up for come next award season," Zac told her.

"Whoa! Slow down there!" she told him holding a hand up in front of him. "I think it's still a little too early for all that!"

Zac gave her a wink and smiled as he took another sip of his drink and then asked the one question that he had been dying to know. Depending on her answer to this question, theirs may not be the only conversation that he would be having before he made his escape tonight.

"So a lot of people came out for the premiere tonight," he started, somewhat nervous.

"I know! It's crazy!"

"I couldn't help but notice one person in particular who was just itching to be by your side the whole evening."

"Are you jealous?" Her tone was sincere, not condescending. She didn't even have to ask; she knew he was talking about Josh.

"No," he admitted. "If there's really something there, then he's very lucky. He doesn't know how special what he's getting really is. I'm just curious."

"Funny you should say that because I'm curious myself," she admitted wryly.

Zac worked to hide his shock, but was unsuccessful. "Really?"

"I mean it's not that l like him or want anything to happen, but…" She allowed her voice trail off as another thought came to her and without warning, started laughing.

"It just dawned on me how awkward it is talking about this with you," she told Zac shyly. "I never thought that we'd be talking about possible future relationships that-"

"That aren't us?" Zac interrupted.

"Yeah."

Zac looked at the ground again as he began speaking. "You know, Van, we do this friend thing and it works okay, right?" He looked up to see her nod of confirmation. "Is it fair that I ask that we don't talk about relationships?" Her somewhat shocked stare encouraged him to continue. "I don't think I can handle hearing you talking about someone else."

"I know what you mean," she said softly. "I don't think I can stand hearing you talking about someone else, either."

"Just promise me something," he requested.

"What's that?"

"The next person… make him take care of you the way you deserve. Otherwise he'll have me to deal with." Zac furrowed his eyebrows as something occurred to him. "Well, your dad first then me."

"You know that goes both ways," she told him. Vanessa watched as Zac set his glass down on the table and closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms, feeling as she wrapped her own arms around his waist.

"I do still love you, Van," he whispered into her hair. "I do still care about what happens to you."

"I know you do, Zac." Vanessa pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair and continued. "I still love you as well."

The two kept their stare for a moment before the sound of the paparazzi on the sidewalk below them made its way to their ears from two stories down. Vanessa broke their embrace and walked over to the stone wall, looking down at the tops of their heads. She turned back to face Zac once more.

"You'd better go. They're already camped out down there."

"You're right. I'll uh- I'll talk to you soon." Zac took one last lingering look at Vanessa and turned to walk towards the door.

"Zac, wait!" He stopped in his tracks and turned to see Vanessa rushing in his direction. She placed her hands on both of his arms and used his strength to keep her balance as she stood on her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you for coming tonight. It really means a lot to me that you were here."

"You're welcome," he told her before turning and walking through the door.

She watched as he slipped back into the dimly lit corners of the room and made his way in the direction of the door, pausing to share pleasantries with her family. A hand shake with her dad, a kiss on the cheek for her mom, and a brotherly hug for Stella. He must have requested that they not mention his presence at the party to anyone, because she saw how he tried to look inconspicuous as he spoke to them and her father nodded at what he was saying, walking with him to the door so as to try and help him blend in with the crowd.

Getting lost in her thoughts, Vanessa didn't hear the foot steps approaching behind her and jumped when she heard the voice of Jamie Chung.

"Ness?"

Vanessa brought her hand to her heart and shrieked. "Jamie, you scared me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"No. No, it's okay. What's up?" she asked.

"Um, Zack was looking for you. Something about more pictures, believe it or not!" Jamie rolled her eyes, causing Vanessa to laugh. Jamie noticed the moistness in Vanessa's eyes and her suspicions were confirmed. "Speaking of the Zacharys in your life…" she started.

"I didn't realize we were talking about Zacharys other than Snyder, but go ahead."

Jamie paused, trying to decide how to phrase her question. "He was here, wasn't he?" Jamie asked, studying her face.

"Yeah," Vanessa confirmed. "Yeah, he was."

"Are you okay?"

Vanessa hesitated before answering. She looked up at the night sky and blinked a few times to rid her eyes of the tears that had unexpectedly appeared. She then looked back at Jamie and offered her a small smile.

"You know what, Jamie? I am." She sighed. "Now, you said something about Zack looking for me?"

The two girls linked arms and walked back into the room to join their director and the rest of their co-stars. Back into the flashbulbs, and- for Vanessa- back into reality.


End file.
